What goes up must come down.
I was trying out a new hobby last weekend. The local aerodrome was offering introductory skydiving courses. My instructor gave me all the proper training, especially the most important rule about when to open the parachute. As I fell out of the aeroplane I followed the instructions. I counted to ten and then pulled the ripcord. The trouble was, nothing happened. However, I had trained for this and I knew just what to do. I counted to five and then pulled the second ripcord on the spare parachute. That didn't work either. I wasn't sure what to do then. As I fell further towards the ground, I saw another man coming up towards me. "Excuse me," I said. "Do you know anything about parachutes?" "No," he replied. "Do you know anything about gas cookers?"
That wasn't the first time I had tried a new pastime. I had got halfway through a game of water polo when my horse drowned. I had wanted to try out water-skiing but I couldn't find a lake on a hill. Then I tried tap dancing, but I kept falling in the kitchen sink. Still, I'm always keen to try something new.
Two of the most popular pastimes for men are fishing and golf. I went fishing a couple of times with a more experienced friend, but he wasn't too happy with me. In a case of 'beginner's luck', we hired a rowing boat and spent about four hours catching fish after fish. My friend said that we had found the perfect spot and told me to make a note of where it was. The next day he asked me what I had done to remember the place. "Oh, that was easy" I said. "I marked an 'X' on the side of the boat". "You idiot!" he replied. "How do you know we're going to get the same boat?"
According to tradition, golf is one of the things husbands and wives argue about the most. I have never played golf though. I did help caddy for a friend though. Caddying is when you carry their golf clubs and help them find lost golf balls. At one point, about halfway through the game, a line of black funeral cars drove slowly past the golf course. My friend stopped, put his club down, took of his hat respectfully and said: "She was a good wife".
Anyway, back to my skydiving adventure. The situation wasn't looking too good for me, but fortunately there was a large haystack in the field below me. Unfortunately there was a sharp pitchfork pointing upwards in the haystack. Fortunately I missed the pitchfork. Unfortunately I missed the haystack.
Glossary
a aerodrome lądowisko
skydiving akrobacje spadochronowe
a parachute spadochron
a ripcord linka wyzwalająca
to drown utopić
a sink zlew
keen chętny
a pastime rozrywka
luck szczęście
a rowing boat łódź wiosłowa
to argue posprzeczać się
a funeral pogrzeb
a haystack stóg siana
a pitchfork widły
Can you find eight hobbies in the wordsearch?
| t | i | a | d | f | t | b | n | c | f | i | c | u | t |
| g | p | o | t | h | o | l | i | n | g | a | r | v | r |
| h | s | a | r | b | e | m | m | o | h | b | e | p | a |
| s | b | d | h | i | g | b | n | c | r | u | b | d | i |
| i | n | m | a | r | e | r | s | p | a | d | b | o | n |
| c | e | s | r | d | j | n | i | m | s | i | h | g | s |
| t | h | w | i | w | h | e | t | e | i | l | n | a | p |
| b | o | n | s | a | i | j | o | e | h | i | f | x | o |
| n | r | g | a | t | f | g | n | g | e | p | s | g | t |
| n | s | e | e | c | x | i | i | o | p | r | c | h | t |
| g | e | b | k | h | s | e | n | u | m | o | i | y | i |
| e | r | r | a | i | h | a | l | w | k | j | t | n | n |
| o | i | i | l | n | c | h | a | r | t | i | e | v | g |
| r | d | m | d | g | b | r | o | h | o | t | s | a | b |
| t | i | n | o | r | u | q | u | a | s | t | o | c | k |
| a | n | o | p | p | r | a | g | m | i | n | t | i | s |
| c | g | d | i | d | u | b | i | g | r | i | i | p | f |
| h | y | e | n | i | n | y | p | z | u | g | a | r | e |
KEY
potholing, orienteering, bird watching, bonsai, horse riding, train spotting, canoeing
What is the difference between riding, biking, and cycling?
KEY
Riding means horse riding.
Biking means riding a motorcycle for leisure.
Cycling means riding a bicycle for leisure.
Did you know?
The sets of bells in a lot of English churches play a melody. They need one person for each bell and the pastime is called campanology.
The three most popular pastimes and hobbies in Britain at the moment are gardening and cooking. Watching and taking part in quizzes (on television and in pubs) is also very popular.
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